Do not take this medicine while operating small children

I'm typing this to the beat of my throbbing head. You see, just 5 minutes ago I was with Harper using the book "Where the Wild Things Are" as a disciplinary tool--and no, I was not hitting her with it. It was one of those moments as a mom that you just aren't prepared for.


For some unknown reason, God found it necessary to allow us to win the ear infection lottery around here, and this morning's trip to the pediatrician produced antibiotics for all three girls. I tried the natural approach first on Addison and Harper. The garlic olive oil drops do seem to provide relief, but the Dr. said Harper's was ear drum close to bursting, and she would prescribe amoxicillin for both of them and leave it up to me whether or not to give it. For Lucy, since she is still slightly feverish, croupy and ear-infectiony (?), she replaced the Augmentin with Omnicef. We also got some Florastor powder and tons of yogurt to combat the antibiotics from killing off all their good bacteria and producing...problems.


All the while I am in a fog because I had to take decongestants for my own stuffy ears. My body is so sensitive to medicine. Just a half of a Sudafed can knock me down. When we got home I knew that I was going to give Harper her medicine, but instead I gave it to Addison. She was standing next to me when I got it out and she opened her mouth and I dropped it in before I thought about which child's mouth I was facing. I forgot I was going to wait and see if she needed it. Well, I guess she'll be getting it now also.


After lunch I declared it to be nap time, and Lucy and I took a nap upstairs while A&H stayed down and watched "Leave it to Beaver." It was five minutes after Lucy woke me up that the meltdown happened. Addison wanted to show me her backbend that she could do now with just a thin pillow on the floor. She doesn't really need it, but it's a security to her and if it's not there she panics and falls. Harper kept getting behind her in her way while she was showing me and I fussed at her to just stand by me while Addison showed me just once. Then I went downstairs and heard Addison scream that Harper yanked the pillow out from under her and she fell on her head. I told Harper to sit on her bed for a minute until after I finished making Lucy her bottle and I could come talk to her.  Well, I should have known the monster was out.


She starts kicking the wall as loud and as hard as she can. Patience. Pray for patience! I stuck Lucy in the highchair with her bottle and grabbed the flyswatter and walked calmly up the stairs and see Harper looking at me from standing NEXT to her bed. It's that look. Those daring, committed, angry, defiant eyes that I know are going to give me a run for my money. I hate that look. I know this is going to take a while. You can't talk sense into a girl with that look on her face. Again I pray, "patience, strength, wisdom...." I calmly grab her and turn her over and spank her. There is no talking to her. She is screaming, "No! Let ME GO! LET ME GO!" She kicks me. I count to 10 and pray "patience, wisdom..." Another spanking and I tell her I will let her go if she sits calmly on her bed. I'm almost whispering. She says okay, so I let her go. She runs to the closet and shuts the door. I go in after her and she holds onto the shelf and tries to pull it down, screaming. After a wrestling match, another spanking. She struggles to push me away and kicks at me. I hold onto her and quietly pray for us both out loud. I tell her to look in the mirror on the vanity door. I said, "Look at yourself. Look at your face. Look at how you are behaving." She reaches over and throws the door open so she doesn't have to see. I finally am able to lift her up on her bed, still kicking, and tell her to stay there while I get her a drink. She calms a little. When I come back she's laying up against the wall looking angry, but not like a monster. She has a sip of juice, and I ask her to set it up on the shelf. She does. The first thing she's done that I've asked her to do! Sounds like a small thing, but it's huge. It means she is softening and I've got an opening to speak to her heart. I look on her bed and see "Where the Wild Things Are" and open it up to the first few pages. "Look at Max's face, Harper. Do you see his eyes? See his mouth? How does he look? He knows he is doing bad things on purpose. Does he look like he cares if he gets into trouble?" She shakes her head. I turn the page to where his mother banishes him to his room. "Now look at his face. This is how your face looked. How would you describe it?" She says angry. "Harper, who is in charge of you and mommy?"


 "God."


I asked her if God is pleased with this? She admits, no.
We turn a few pages and see where Max is with the Wild Things and looks homesick. We talk about the changes in his eyes and mouth. She says he looks sorry and sad. "And ashamed," I said. "Like when you didn't want to see yourself in the mirror."


We turn a few more pages to the end where Max finds himself back in his room with a warm meal. He has a tired smile on his face and he begins to remove the wolf costume from his head. "And now he's happy." I said that he realized how he had acted, felt badly for it, and decided to change his behavior. I asked her if acting really bad made her feel better. She shakes her head. "It makes you feel awful. You know that that's not how God made you to act, and you feel badly later on. It's not worth it is it?" She shakes her head.


She's quiet and still now, looking down at the picture of the reformed Max. I ask her if she wants to stay in her bed for a little while and look a the book and she nods her head, pulls her covers on and lays her head on the pillow. I close the curtains and leave. Other than her eyes being puffy and red, she looks like nothing ever happened. Like a battle didn't just take place in there. I shut the door and walk quickly down to crying Lucy who is sick of being in her high chair with her now empty bottle.
The whole thing probably lasted less than ten minutes. I left the room thinking, "What just happened?" This kind of thing happens on a weekly basis, at least, but I felt that I needed to document one. Although I'm thankful for these teachable moments, they can suck the life out of me at times. Only by God's strength and gift of patience was I able to turn that into a truly sweet moment instead of a testimony in court about beating my child. I'm still in such a fog from all the cold medicine that it all still feels like a dream. It's 3:50. Is it bedtime yet?